I've been carrying around the same question for weeks now.
Why?
Not the dramatic, existential kind of why. Just... why this?
Why, after riding all those kilometres over five days, do I suddenly feel this undeniable pull toward New Brunswick? Why isn't finishing this huge feat enough? Why does it feel like something is quietly calling me forward? It doesn't make sense. And trust me, I've tried to make it make sense.
I've gone over it in my head a hundred different ways. Am I trying to prove something? Maybe I'm chasing another challenge. Maybe I'm just bat shit crazy. lol
Honestly... I don't know.
Those thoughts followed me out the door last week on my first outdoor run in God knows how long. Less than a year ago, I was learning how to walk again after my hip replacement. This particular day, I was aiming for a 5K. Life is funny like that.
Let me tell you... the run wasn't graceful. My hip reminded me more than once that recovery is still happening. Every foot strike was a reminder of where I'd been and how far I'd come. But as I slowed to a walk and started making my way home, something else happened.
The questions became quieter, and the afternoon became louder. I started noticing the wind again, the birds, the rustling grass. The world carried on, completely unaware that my mind had been arguing with itself for weeks.
Then I saw them.
A little patch of daisies growing beside the reservoir.
I smiled without even realising it.
I've always loved daisies. They're uncomplicated. No matter where they grow, they somehow manage to look hopeful. They don't care if they're growing in a perfectly tended garden or through a crack in the sidewalk. They simply bloom anyway.
So I bent down and picked one.
I stood there holding it for a moment. Then came that feeling. Not a voice. Not a thought. Just one of those gentle little nudges that seem to come from somewhere beyond logic.
Three.
I actually laughed out loud.
Of course.
Three.
Three has followed me for as long as I can remember. Why? I couldn't tell you. It simply has. So I picked two more.
Could I have left them there? Absolutely. They were beautiful exactly where they were. Nothing told me I had to pick them. Nothing would have changed if I'd simply admired them for a moment and kept walking.
Or so I thought.
As I reached the sidewalk, I noticed a family walking toward me. A mom. A dad. A little girl. Before I even had time to think, I heard myself asking if I could give their daughter one of my daisies. They smiled, and when I handed that little girl her flower, she smiled even bigger.
Have you ever witnessed the kind of joy that catches you completely off guard? It’s not excitement. It’s not gratitude.
It’s pure, innocent happiness that only a child seems to experience so effortlessly.
Over a daisy.
Just... a daisy.
As they walked away, I looked down at the two flowers still resting in my hand and laughed to myself.
"Well... now what?"
Not three minutes later, another family appeared around the corner. A mother walking her dog, with two little girls riding their bikes beside her. And there it was again. That pull. The one that never seems interested in explaining itself.
So again, without a second thought, I asked their mom if I could give each girl a daisy.
Again, those smiles. The kind that don't just brighten someone else's face. They brighten yours too.
I stood there for a moment after they disappeared down the sidewalk, and suddenly everything became still.
Three daisies.
Three little girls.
Three smiles.
Then it hit me.
If I had left those flowers where they were, those moments never would have happened. Not because those girls wouldn't have smiled that day. Children always find reasons to smile. But those smiles... those belonged to that moment. To that choice. One tiny decision that seemed completely meaningless when I bent down beside the reservoir.
Take them... or leave them.
That's all it was. One small choice. One insignificant moment that quietly changed the next ten minutes of my life.
And maybe... that's why I've been struggling with New Brunswick.
I've been asking myself why I feel pulled toward something so big. Maybe the answer isn't waiting at the finish line. Maybe it's hidden somewhere along the road. Maybe New Brunswick is another patch of daisies. Maybe it's another quiet pull that doesn't make sense today but will someday.
I have no idea what's waiting for me between Orillia and New Brunswick. Maybe nothing.
Or maybe...
Maybe there are still a whole lot of daisies waiting to be handed out. - Unexpected conversations, a helping hand, a smile shared with a stranger, or a reminder to someone that they're stronger than they think.
Maybe they're moments that only exist if I choose to stop, pay attention, and reach for them.
And I'll never know if I leave them behind.
So I think I'll stop asking why.
Maybe life isn't always asking us to understand the journey before we begin.
Maybe it's simply asking us to choose.
Take it...
Or leave it.
That day, I chose to take the daisies. Three tiny flowers that most people would have walked past without a second thought. And because of that choice, three little girls smiled. Maybe only for a moment. But sometimes a moment is enough.
Maybe my ride to New Brunswick isn't really about reaching the ocean. Maybe it's about all the daisies I'll find along the way.
Some journeys begin with a map.
Mine begins with three daisies. ♥️